Home > Annoyances, Idiocy, Views I Don't Understand > If It’s Touted as Green I Probably Won’t Buy It!

If It’s Touted as Green I Probably Won’t Buy It!

To the various and sundry manufacturers, wholesalers, and retailers: if you market a product as being environmentally friendly, chances are I will refuse to buy it. Environmentalism has gone from a much needed and admirable movement to being little more than a scam artist’s dream cash cow and often does more harm than good. To mention just a few items that immediately come to mind that were done in the name of environmentalism:

Low Flow Toilets – the asshat* feds were convinced by an asshat environmentalist that these should be mandated regardless of the fact that for years they didn’t work properly. By fiat. Without any research as to a suitable alternative. People had to flush several times to do what used to take only one. It was so bad that we were combing landfills, junk yards, and scrap heaps. We were buying them from Canada.

Environ-asshats need a swift kick to the groin and be forced to sit down and shut the hell up.

McDonald’s Big Mac Container Fiasco – Asshat environmentalists complained that the styrofoam containers would be in landfills for centuries. McDonald’s caved and went back to using paper products.

Let us not forget that long before the automobile was invented, long before homes were lit and heated by electricity, we used whale oil. We were well aware of petroleum long before that, but we simply didn’t know what to do with it – except avoid it. Eventually someone discovered how to convert that black muck into something useful: heating and lamp oil. However, it wasn’t until whale oil became nearly prohibitively expensive did it become practical to distill and market petroleum as a viable substitute. Market forces saved the whale! During the distilling process, a substantial volume of highly volatile liquid was produced as a by-product for which we had no use. The liquid was in an approximate form of what we now pump into our cars’ tanks by the buckets full. That’s right, we used to dump millions upon millions of gallons of unrefined gasoline, burn it as a waste product. So, we’re felling thousands upon thousands more trees every year just to wrap a damned hamburger instead of dumping metrics tons of something we’ll undoubtedly find another use for at some point in the future, kept safe in solid form and in easily reached places.

Environ-asshats and government asshats need swift kicks to the groin and be forced to sit down, shut up, and get the hell out of the way.

Energy Star Computer Monitors – I cannot begin to explain the exasperation I feel when trying to trouble shoot a computer. I need to see the boot process — the entire boot process — uninterrupted by the damned monitor shutting off. I have to three-finger reboot again and again and again which wastes that much more energy. Here’s a bit of news to these idiots: I don’t want to pay a penny more in energy costs than I must. If I’m not actively using my computers, I turn them completely off. If I’m running something in the background like fold at home, I turn the monitor completely off. I don’t need your damned “help” okay?

Environ-asshats need a swift kick to the groin and be forced to sit down and shut the hell up.

Biofuel – Nice going, asshats. This is little more than a way to damage the economy and increase corporate welfare. When the price of corn goes up, the price of everything goes up. Biofuels contain less energy and are more expensive to produce than petroleum-derived fuel, yet by fiat, a certain percentage of auto fuel must contain biofuel in certain parts of the country. Because refineries can’t do this on the fly, they must shut down to retool. The decrease in production reduces the amount available to the public which in turn increase the price at the pump.

Environ-asshats and government asshats need swift kicks to the groin and be forced to sit down, shut up, and get the hell out of the way.

Let me for a moment go back to a term I used above: viable substitute. That, my friends, is the key: it must be a viable substitute. We can build cars that run on tiny nuclear power plants, but can anybody afford one? Bill Gates or Warren Buffet probably can, but I can’t and neither can you. And for that matter, to paraphrase Steven den Beste, would you actually want to? We can’t avoid collisions with petroleum powered cars; it would be disastrous to have millions of tons of highly radio active material blitzing around the country at highway speeds. So no, it isn’t a viable alternative. We’ve already build cars that run exclusively on solar power. Universities pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into such things. Can you afford a several hundred thousand dollar car? I know I can’t. So no, that isn’t a viable alternative either. I recently read a story about a guy that converted his car such that it’d burn used vegetable oil. Once the government found out, they sent him a bill for payment of the fuel tax and, I believe, fined him for avoiding the tax. Right there you have a perfect example of how the government stifles innovation. We need to get the government the hell out of our lives and allow people to do what they do best: make life better. For all of us.

I could literally spend hours on this particular post, but I’m done. Asshatism wears me the hell out.


*My thanks to Rachel Lucas and her (original) blog for introducing me to this fine term! <pat>Digger</pat> <pat>Sunny</pat>

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